When you decide that you want to try for your first baby with your significant other you tend to just focus on the excitement of bringing life into the world. Although creating your own little human is very exciting indeed, there are many details that new parents often wish they knew before becoming a parent.
It is always a very great idea to do research on any important major life decision and learn all of the facts. Especially when it involves being responsible for another life. In this blog post, I will discuss some things that I wish I knew myself before becoming a parent in hopes that other excited prospective parents will go into this big life event with some knowledge to help them along the way.
The Cost of Raising a Child
Studies have shown that by the time your child turns one year old, you will have spent approximately $12,350 to $13,900 for their first year of life. That is a very large chunk of change! Although no one can be truly financially ready before having children, it is still good to have a ballpark idea of how much you will be spending so that you can adjust your budget accordingly. That number may be a bit shocking but babies use a lot of diapers and diapers are not cheap. There is also baby food, formula, clothing, childcare and more to think about.
Pregnancy and Delivery
Pregnancy is an absolutely beautiful experience but every woman’s body is different and it is not always a walk in the park. It is a good idea to prepare for the worst but expect the best when it comes to pregnancy and delivery. Hopefully, everything will be smooth sailing but you definitely want to be prepared in case it is not. Many women experience debilitating nausea during pregnancy and complications could arise during delivery. Just make sure to speak to your doctor to come up with a birth plan that is right for you so that you are fully prepared.
Sleeping Schedules
Entering into motherhood is incredibly amazing. Your body is capable of so many things you may have never imagined. One of those things is surviving on very little sleep. Newborns do tend to sleep a lot in their first few months thankfully but they also need to eat a lot and wake up often to do so. You may have heard the phrase “sleep when the baby sleeps” before and this is great advice. You will definitely want to get as much rest as you can to have the energy to take care of your little one when they are awake and need you. If you are not able to get on your ideal sleeping schedule right away, that is totally normal and you should not feel pressured to do so. Just make sure to sleep when you can and the schedule will eventually adjust. You can look into sleep training once your baby is old enough. I sleep trained my little one and it made a world of a difference!
Postpartum Depression
Parenting is an absolutely wonderful experience but it can also be quite difficult for those that suffer from postpartum depression. One thing you need to know is that you do not need to feel bad if you end up getting postpartum depression as it is very normal. Up to 75% of new mothers experience what they call the “baby blues” after delivery. Up to 15% of these women end up having their blues develop into more severe postpartum depression. Luckily there is a lot of help available for this. Just talk to your doctor to set up a plan of action in case this happens to you.
Delivering Your Placenta After Birth
Most women who are preparing to give birth, may not know that if you deliver vaginally you will also have to deliver your placenta after you deliver your baby. Delivering the placenta is often referred to as the third stage of labor. This is when the placenta is birthed from your body and the umbilical cord is clamped. This may sound slightly scary but there is no need to worry. Delivering the placenta is actually a very easy process. You will have an injection in your thigh to help speed up the process of delivering the afterbirth. Your nurse will assist you by pushing on your uterus in order to easily pull out the placenta. This process usually occurs within thirty minutes after the birth of your baby.
Breastfeeding May Not Come Naturally and Can Be Incredibly Painful
You may have seen many lovely photographs circling the internet of mothers gently nursing their newborn babies. These photos make breastfeeding look incredibly easy and beautiful. Although breastfeeding is a beautiful bonding experience for mother and baby, it can also be very difficult and painful for a lot of first-time mothers and even the most experienced mothers. A lot of newborn babies tend to have a difficult time latching right away and this can cause issues with your milk supply. Luckily there are lactation consultants available at the hospital or birthing center as well as your pediatrician’s office. They can help you along your breastfeeding journey and ensure your baby is getting enough to eat.
The Amount of Love You Have for Your Baby
Before getting pregnant, you may have imagined the love and incredible bond you’d feel with your baby. Now imagine that same feeling but amplified ten fold. That is how much you will actually love your baby once you meet them for the first time. The amount of love and connection you feel is unlike anything you have ever felt before. It’s truly indescribable. With that tremendous amount of love, also comes a tremendous amount of worry and anxiety unfortunately. Since you love your baby so much, you constantly worry for their safety and happiness. Your baby literally becomes the center of your world and you would do absolutely anything for them.
Postpartum Anxiety
You often hear a lot about postpartum depression, but you tend to hear very little about postpartum anxiety. If you are someone that is already prone to anxiety, your risk of developing postpartum is a lot higher. Postpartum anxiety is quite a bit different than the typical new parent worries, it’s actually a lot worse. With postpartum anxiety, you may experience insomnia, loss of appetite, intense irritability, or being overly worried about your baby. If you have any of these symptoms and you notice it lasting longer than a month or two, you will want to contact your doctor right away. Fortunately there is a lot of help available for mothers with postpartum anxiety including counseling, antidepressants, or hormone therapy.
How Parenting Will Affect Your Marriage
Parenting can definitely bring you closer with your spouse, but it could also have the opposite effect. That is why it is very important to take parenting classes, read parenting books, get advice from friends and family with children and more for some helpful tips for navigating parenthood. You never know exactly what type of parent you will be until you become one but being as prepared as possible will be incredibly helpful.
Most hospitals and birthing centers have free or very low cost parenting classes available to new parents. There are also many many great books available to help you along your parenting journey. The best thing you can do in order to make sure your marriage stays strong while diving into parenthood together is to always have open communication and work together as a team and not keep scores or argue about who is more tired. Another great tip is to always make an effort to spend time together without your baby (I need to work on this lol). Continue to date your spouse and keep your relationship strong. Ask a family member or a friend to watch your baby once and a while so that you and your spouse can enjoy some alone time together.
Things May Not Work Out The Way You Planned
When preparing for your baby you may have purchased all kinds of things that you are just sure you will need. To your surprise after your bundle of joy is born, you may not need any of it. For example, a lot of new parents will spend a lot of money on a changing table and just end up changing their baby on the bed or floor. Another example is a baby book. You may end up buying an adorable baby book with plans of filling it full of memories, but being a new parent can be very stressful and time consuming. If you don’t get around to filling up your baby book like you had planned, give yourself some grace. You can always sell or donate the items that you have decided you won’t be needing and bless another family that will use them.
If you’re a parent, did any of these resonate with you? If you are not yet a parent, were you surprised by any of these? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Want more baby articles? Check out my post on My Most Used Baby Products.
